my life?

man i feel like venting, just got off work, got alot of shit on my mind, nah meen, just trying to figure out what direction my life is headed, i've grown as a individual, i feel like my growth began when i started to accept my own weakness, because i was always in denial, never really analyzed shit i did, just did it, consequences came later, i was hardheaded, felt like everybody was trying to tell me how to live my life, nah meen, my mistakes are my experiences, and i discovered that i always have choices, and sometimes its a choice of attitude, attitude is a little thing, that makes a big difference, my attitude sucks, literally, i'm so easily agitated, ignorance is bliss, very much so, but i try to be laid back and calm, but it seems like motherfuckers always provoking me to the point, where i just snap, but now i have a positive attitude, having this attitude might not solve all my problems, but it will annoy enough motherfuckers to make it worth the effort, kill them with the kindness, so i take charge of my attitude, and don't let one of these motherfuckers choose it for me, nah meen, but i'm just better off by myself, i don't have to worry about the bullshit, about the unnecessary drama, i observe my surroundings each and every day, and i wonder, if i didn't smoke like a chimney, would half these motherfuckers be here, or if i didn't do this or do that, would they be here, hell no, they leeches, when i didn't have shit, nobody was here, NOBODY, not a single fucking soul, now i can't get these motherfuckers out my face, i been down and out, literally, rock bottom, broke as a bitch, but i refuse to live like that, i refuse, my pride to high, i won't ask a motherfucker for shit, cause why, soon you do, they throw it up in your face, plus let the whole world know what they did for you, naa, i'm straight, so what i do, i get out and get it, then motherfuckers say, o Narada changing, got the big head now, naa, never that, i always showed love, still do, no funny acting with me, cause why, money comes and go, same way i got it, i can lose it, so why have my shoulders on my ass, no point, so how i see it, they using me for what i got, and i don't got shit, but some good reefa i smoke on, they on the outside looking in, thinking o i got money, naa homie, i'm still trying to get it, but i can say, i'm far from broke, came along way, i can't go back and start a new beginning, but i can start today and make a new ending, nah meen, i'm changing, for the better, ya know, i had to let go of that fear, my biggest fear was being a failure, nah meen, there's nothing wrong with change, long as its in the right direction, so what i do, i go out and get a job, doing something productive, its more out there, than just selling dope, smoking all day, popping pills, self destruction, that's how my life was, i didn't believe in myself, never applied myself, never motivated myself, why, because each and every day, door after door was closing, i felt lost, i was trapped, no way out, felt like what i'm living for, i don't have shit to live for, i'm not doing shit, i'm another statistic, but what kept me going, cause i was still breathing, it's not my time, so what i did, prayed on it, i asked God to grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can, and the wisdom to know the difference, so i kept my dreams alive, i understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication, remember all things are possible for those who believe, i live by that now, nah meen, i have no regrets in my life, i think that everything happens for a reason,the hard times that i went through build character, making me a much stronger person, so i'm living life to the fullest, full speed, but on a positive mind state, my time is limited, so i wont waste it, living with the results of other people's thinking, i wont let the noise of other's opinions drown out my own inner voice, and most important, have the courage to follow my heart and intuition, everything else is secondary, and i'm gone.